October 2011
2 posts
My Monsters
I think sometimes people forget how much the world likes to troll you. I honestly believe in a greater being outside of our universe that sends out monsters in forms of everyday household items that will fuck with you in anyway possible. I call them my monsters. Luckily, I spotted some of my favorite (most hated) ones…
The disappearing sock monster.
The...
Schooled, son.
Found in a book,
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after...
April 2011
1 post
Vortex (aka crotch region)
Whenever I am sitting down and eating something or holding an object, if I accidentally drop it, it always seems to land right at the crotch area.
I don’t know if my body has some sort of vortex at that area where it likes to attract all falling objects (lolthat’swhatshesaid), or if god just finds it hilarious to put me in these awkward situations where I have try to get the fallen...
December 2010
1 post
Super Stealth Mode
Tonight, I decided I can cross “robber” off my list of my potential career paths.
Mission: Retrieve phone charger and toothbrush from my mom’s room without waking her up.
+10pt: Open door quietly
-20pt: Knock over water bottle, pen, lampshade while reaching for charger
-5pt: Bump head on the edge of the bed
-2pt: Realize I bumped my head harder than expected. Forehead is...
September 2010
1 post
School Mode
I know I’m in schoolmode when I start reading people’s away messages with “atm” as ‘atmospheric pressure’ instead of ‘at the moment.’
“I am out for dinner, atmospheric pressure.”
chyeah.
July 2010
1 post
Hoarding
I found a Cadbury egg in a winter jacket.
I found a Cadbury egg in the back of the freezer.
I found a Cadbury egg in my bathroom cabinet.
I’m thinking it’s time to stop hoarding and buying so many damn Cadbury eggs after Easter.
June 2010
3 posts
Lessons from a Dry Cleaner's Daughter
For the past two weeks, I have been helping out at my stepdad’s dry cleaners. There are a lot of interesting and ballin’ people that come in… and then there are those damn clueless 18 to 22 year-olds that stroll in. Sigh. Anyways, in hopes of helping the confused, I’ve complied a list of lessons that I’ve picked up on here at the dry cleaners.
So please stop looking...
Google Confessions
I have some confessions that I need to get off my chest. Does anyone else google such weird or really stupid questions that it’s embarrassing when someone is using your computer and it appears as a suggestion when they’re typing something into your browser?
Things I have googled that are ridiculous when out of context:
“state initials W V”
“How to boil eggs”...
May 2010
1 post
Spoons
This morning, while rolling around in bed, I had a mini light bulb go off in my head.
The phrases “I like to be the little spoon,” or “I like to be the big spoon,” are all wrong. Big spoons and little spoons don’t even fit with each other. Spoons have to be equally sized to fit perfectly together. vvv The mental image I had in my head this morning vvv
Find the...
April 2010
1 post
The gods have spoken.
Just when I started really hating math, struggling to finish problem sets, and feeling frustrated by lectures,
my Graduate Student Instructor for my Math discussion wrote with all seriousness:
and math just got 10x cooler.
March 2010
2 posts
Answer:
Tell me,
who the fuck do you think you are?
NumbersNumbers
12- the total hours I slept last week
6- people yelling on my dorm floor, “WTF CANADA!!!!!!!”
18- problem sets left to do today
3- incredibly interesting ways learned in my Materials in Weapons seminar to make steel weapons stronger:
throwing an infant into the molten to create more phosphorus
quenching the steel with a 5-year old, red-headed boy’s urine
quenching the...
February 2010
4 posts
Psychoanalysis
Skippy: Okay, imagine a horse and describe it to me.
Me: It's a big brown horse
Skippy: What kind of horse?
Me: A stallion
Skippy: Where is it?
Me: I'm riding it.
Skippy: So, you're riding a big, brown stallion.
Me: yup.
Skippy: Well the horse is suppose to represent your lover.
Me: ?!
Snoop Dogg, come hollaaaa
“Do not carve on stone or wood,
“He was honest” or “He was...”
– Don Blanding
I'll always be creepy.
I hate when people wearing something interesting sits in front of me. Especially when it’s within my direct line of sight. It’s not because it blocks the chalkboard or distracts me, but because I get this INTENSE urge to want to touch it.
A couple of weeks ago, this guy was sitting in front of me wearing jacket with the furriest hood I’ve ever seen. So of course, after resisting...
January 2010
1 post
Conversations
During a conversation with Brian, something really struck inside me.
Fuck. I’m 18. The night is young, the future is unwritten. The world is still putty in my hands.
What the fuck will I do with it?
Where to begin?
December 2009
4 posts
Food #1: Orochon Ramen
If I have learned anything from being at Berkeley, it’s that Los Angeles is the best city to be around. I’ve taken it upon myself to spent this Winter Break being my own Andrew Zimmerman and enjoying all the odd/unique foods of LA. So these next couple of weeks, my tumblr will be dedicated to logging the food I go eat. Enjoyz!
Food #1: Orochon Ramen
Now, Orochon Ramen doesn’t...
Crazy
You know what I realized is really odd? When people are talking about dreams, they always start out their stories, “I had the CRAZIEST dream last night.” Psycho clowns chasing them, a castle made of scratch-and-sniffs, best friends with Harry Potter… It’s like a known fact that if you have a dream, it’s crazy.
Well I have a crazy dream for ya:
I got dressed, went...
My dad is hilarious.
So today, I received an email from my dad, “Anna, I put $2400 in your bank account. Love you.”
I was completely awed with “WTFFF AWESOMEEEEE OMGGGGG!!!”
I quickly checked my bank account and realized…
He only added $2.40.
My dad sent another email…
“Just kidding. You went over texts this month. You owe me $64. Love you.”
GG dad. GG.
Salad eater
Dear the-girl-who-was-sitting-next-to-me-during-chem-review-session-with-a-bowl-of-salad,
STOP NIBBLING ON THE DAMN SALAD. YOU’RE NOT A RABBIT AND EVEN RABBITS DON’T TAKE TWO HOURS TO FINISH A SALAD. FUCK.
hahaha.
November 2009
1 post
October 2009
3 posts
I'm childish.
Today in Chemistry lecture, my professor was demonstrating combustion reactions by setting fire to three balloons filled with H2, CH4, and C4H10. Each engulfed in a ball of magnificent fire. While all the other students and the professor analyzed the amount of heat released in the combustion, all I could think of was that faithful phoenix in Harry Potter that bursts into flames in preparation of...
“If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.”
Has anyone else realized...
that the word “bed” looks like a bed?
amazing.
September 2009
4 posts
How to Summarize my College Life
(9;02 pm)
Kim: Same time for gym?
Me: Actually can we at ten? I have a groove going in math hw.
Kim: Haha sure, getcho groove on!
Me: We are so lame sometimes.
Thrill of my life
Today my chemistry professor got a very red rose out and shoved it into liquid nitrogen…
“Juliet said ‘What’s in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.’ Well obviously, she’s never heard of liquid nitrogen.”
He continued by smashing and shattering the rose.
…and for some reason, I just had one of the biggest...
“Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for...”
Thoughful words of Kurt Vonnegut
Kurt Vonnegut, novelist, humanist, and everything else that’s wonderful.
I recently read this in an interview with Kurt Vonnegut and thought I would summarize it here.
DRAMA
“People have been hearing fantastic stories since time began. The problem is, they think life is supposed to be like the stories. Let’s look at a few examples.”
“Let’s look at a very common story arc....
August 2009
1 post
How I understand Californians.
I’ve made my final bitter conclusions about Californians. The super expensive luxury cars and sports cars drive like they own the whole world. Street lights, stop signs, pedestrians, and old cars must not exist in this secret manual that come with these cars. They cut me off and I think “Aw hell no. Who do they think they are?” Then, I drive my mom’s or brother’s car...
July 2009
5 posts
“So I was at Walmart, being the financial transaction overlord of register 21....”
The little feel-goodery
Sometimes I forget to notice the little things that are so underappreciated.
Like how perfect your blankets seem to be sometimes. Just that perfect snug feeling hugging you.
but the best part is,
when it get’s a little hot, but not hot enough…
you stick one leg out but keep the other in, and damn, you’re in for a good night’s sleep.
Something that makes sense.
It’s hard to isolate specific things that you hate entirely without exceptions. Like there is always an exception to things you hate:
“I hate cucumbers but I can still eat them.”
“I hate metallic leggings but it looks great on you.”
“I can’t stand people that eat with their mouth open (looks at their friend eating) but you’re and exception of...
WatchREAD ALONG BELOW.
Hear something beautiful for the day.
we all wanted that high school sweetheart we wanted to be young in the 50s with meatloaves and sock hops and lawns, lawns so perfect they looked like Clark Gable was kissing them
we wanted to be thirteen and alive and meet a girl that was thirteen and alive and walk with her past the grandstands, to sit and hold hands, to sit and kiss, to sit and sit, like it was something you would miss, but...
May 2009
4 posts
“I believe that the voices of fear, both from without and within, can only be...”
– Chuck Lorre
Isn't it funny
How we see our faces in the mirror every single day of our lives, maybe even more than once, but it’s the hardest face to draw or describe?
funny.
Things that are meant to be.
Sometimes,
Flowers are meant to be destroyed because they leave longer memories,
You’re suppose to ruin moments because it’ll make you smile later on,
You can pick fights because it just means you’re a little frightened,
Random hard fruits are meant to be thrown because it’s just funnier that way.
Sometimes,
people just don’t understand that. Imbecile.
Solutions not Problems
Case 1 When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they realized pens wouldn’t work at zero gravity since the ink wouldn’t flow down to the writing surface. To solve this problem, it took them 10 years and $12 million dollars to develop a pen that would work at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, below 300 degrees Celsius, and practically on any surface including crystal....
April 2009
4 posts
“When you put the shell up to your ear and hear the beautiful ocean waves,...”
How I see it.
As I was boarding the plane back to LA, I never realized how much the blue Southwest airplane looked like a bird. The walkway connector tube thingy they put on it lookes like a giant pesticide worm. So the way I see it, it was a giant pesticide that attached to the bird’s head and began sucking all the blood out, thus the color blue, but the bird didn’t know it was sick yet. After the...
PROFANITY
Don’t you sometimes just feel the need to cuss the fuck out of something?
fuckenbitchcuntbagdirtyfuckshitface.
and then, you feel a lot better.
:)
How I love.
Driving 400 miles for seven hours straight with Kim to Sacramento without a moment of silence…
Realized:
-I don’t want kids because I don’t want to be the reason my kids turn out a certain way
-How much I hate romance novels
-How much I hate romance movies
-My love for Babysitter Little Sister Club, Ramona Quimby, and Boxcar Children books
-Sometimes life is on your side
...
March 2009
3 posts
A very special...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one of my favorite friends in the world <3
Now shut up and love banana 4lyf. ;)
Pops.
It’s kind of funny how my dad gets mentioned pretty often in my blog, but he says pretty funny things to me.
He wants to take me to a shooting range next weekend, so I’m super psyched to learn how to shoot a bitch. jkjk.
Anyways, he just got unlimited texting and learned my email so he emails/texts me often and I think this definitely counts as my highlight of the day:
Next time ,...
ReBackAgainList
What have I been up to?
I do truly believe that a person’s astrological sign really does tell a lot their personality and compatibility
I’ve been reading about Nikola Tesla nonstop
So I love wildflowers right? and hate roses. I realized my favorite kind are when you find the yellow-green color scheme in nature and I want to start a picture collection of the ones I find.
I’ve...
February 2009
1 post
Cyncism at best.
(About CSS Profile)
Me: Ugh so frustrating!
Kim: so essentially you may be doing it now just to change everything later
Me: so it works just like fafsa?
Kim: I believe so, "early bird gets the worm"
Me: Well yeah, "early fish get caught"
Kim: there's the cynic i know!
January 2009
9 posts
A really really great soothing song
Oren Lavie-...